Encontrandome...

Como un niño pequeño
cuando esta descubriendo su cuerpo y su alrededor.
Cuando sientes esas mariposas en el estomago
al ver esa persona que te aloca
y mas aun tocar sus labios en ese primer beso que nunca olvidaras.

Acaso acuerdas el dia que dijistes tu primera palabra?
O cuando todo lo que decias era no?

Encontrarse es como hacer el amor por primera vez.
Puede ser aterrador por un momento, pero luego...

Encontrandome como el artista y su musa
en esa primera creacion despues de tantas horas de empeño.

Encontrandome como el escritor y sus ideas
en su viaje de mil pensamientos.
Donde quizas hayan sueños rotos, intentos fallidos,
historias creadas y deseos en el olvido.
Pero no hay quien se interponga entre el y sus palabras.

Ahora despues de tantos años de saber quien era
la vida me hiso chocar con la realidad.
Me hiso parar esta inconstancia de sentimientos vagabundos
y tomar un momento para pensar.

En realidad analizar de donde vengo y hacia donde voy.

Ahora poco a poco me voy encontrando
y en el proceso formando en esa persona extraordinaria
que en un momento olvide que tan siquiera existia.

Me derrumbo y poco a poco me creo.

Encuentro a esa niña creativa y jugetona
Quizas algo timida y vulnerable.
Aveces me sienta invensible porque creo tenerlo todo en mis manos
pero luego recuerdo que nada es mio y que ando prestada aqui.

Me encuentro caminando por el bosque
un poco perdida y dejando que las hojas me enseñen el camino.

Me encuentro, aveces me pierdo
pero derrepente vuelvo y veo con mas claridad.

Me encuentro aqui, ahora.
Viviendo cada minuto.
Esperando cada hora y soñando con lo que mañana sera.

Me encuentro y doy un viaje a cada esquina de mi interior
por eso de que me falte algo por descubrir.

Gemelos Camaleonicos

Andas sumergido en tu propio misterio. Tratas de desifrar los secretos de la vida en silencio. Todo aveces te parece un juego y a su vez estas en todas partes pero solo existe un lugar donde te pueden encontrar.

Eres mi gemela!

Pero nadie sabe que estas ahi.
Hay quienes reconocen donde te escondes. Otros simplemente pasan desapercividos!

Believe

When no one thought I could make it
and everything seem lost for my eyes.
You believed and showed me what it was right in front.

You tough me to trust myself.
You open the door of many possibilities
when you showed me the way.
Right then my life begun to change.

I once more, believe!

When no one saw me as I am, you did and above from beyond.
When I couldn't even understand,
you were patience enough to stick around.

I lost connection with my soul.
Recently I've learn there is so much more about me
I didn't even knew it exist. I was to blind to see!

I've been silent, listening to my inner voice.
I've been hiding; But not no more.

Now I want to be loud, letting the world know I'm here.

I AM READY!
"Watch out world, are you ready for me?"

It takes just one person to see and another to believe.
I got lucky, the day you saw me!

One More

I get up. It still dark and cold. I can't seem to fall asleep. My head is spinning with so many things I need to do. I don't really know how to start. I sit on the edge of my bed while I think.

"I need to do something "pronto", this is really driving me crazy. I don't know how I made it this far, but I don't wanna keep wondering what will happen next. I need to take control of my life now."

I want to smoke, but I'm trying to quit. How can I really quit with so much stress?

I crave for one more!

Then I try to remind myself that I can get cancer quicker if I continue smoking. No, no, no I'm not gonna smoke. One more can lead you to the next one and the next thing you know you're still smoking.

I know what I need to do, I need to move my ass out of bed and do what I need to do. I'll start with writing down a list.

I get up from bed, I turn the light on and grab everything I need to make that list.

To do list:
#1....

Contare una historia

Pienso y reflexiono con una botella de vino en la mano.
Me pregunto que a pasado conmigo y mi vida.
Me he dado cuenta que es tiempo de cambios.
Cambios que me haran ser una mujer,
Ya no sere la niña escurridisa como sombra trapesista.

Ya no sere, ahora me creo.

Me derrumbo, para poder ir construyendo cada esquina de mi ser poco a poco.
Sera un arte, una obra maestra.

La obra maestra de mi vida!

Me siento y reflexiono con un cigarrillo entre labios.
Es año de dejar de fumar, de dejar atras muchos habitos que en el proceso de llegar aqui adapte y los hice mio.

Es hora de crecer, de dejar que otros vean quien soy.
Ya el jugar a las escondidas es una vieja historia.
Me derrumbo y me creo... y en mi nace una nueva historia!

Una historia que le contara al mundo lo dicho y lo omitido!

Army of one

I don't necessarily agree with what you do
I'm terrified that something might happen.
Everyday I pray, for God to keep you safe.
I don't want to loose my only.

But today I let you go.
Today I put my fears aside and let you free.
Free as a bird.

You are entitled to your own actions and decisions.

And today my big brother I feel proud.
Cuz regardless of what people might have said
and what the world was going through
you were brave enough to follow your heart
and do what you thought was best for you.

Sometimes I get scared
but I know you love what you do
so if that makes you happy, I'll support you all the way!

We might not agree in many things
but I'm so proud of you, just cause your my brother!

You are my army, the army of one!


Pray for Our Troops

Cansada casi me rindo

Estoy cansada de correr
De tratar y tratar, para no ver nada.

Tengo miedo, tengo miedo de perder. De perder toda una vida de esfuerzos para entonces, nada. Por primera vez en tanto tiempo me siento vulnerable. Vulnerable a la vida, no al amor. Vulnerable a sentir que no sirvio de nada el esfuerzo que con muchos sacrificios me costo llegar hasta donde estoy. Me siento desnuda, totalmente al descubierto delante de un mundo que nisiquiera sabe quien soy. Estoy, parada me encuentro, apunto de caerme al vacio pues camino en cuerda floja y cada paso que doy parecen tambalear. Pues siento que camino en el aire.

Quiero gritar, pero no puedo. Puesto que llevo gritando toda mi vida y mi voz ya no mas. He quedado sin aire, sin palabras, sin voz!

Que mas puedo hacer?
Si en todos mis intentos siento fracaso. Y no me arrepiento, porque es que ante cada paso incierto me hacen una mujer fuerte.

Frustrada..
Cansada, casi me rindo!

Pero no, no permito. No permitire que el momento del presente me haga bajar la cabeza y rendir los brazos. Caminare y seguire luchando. Luchando por lo que creo, por lo que me llena a capacidad. Luchar por lo que es mio y por mas. Porque el cielo no es el limite. Y aunque me sienta desmayar, caminare.

Caminare por lugares que aun no he andado antes. Y se que vere, vere un mundo nuevo. Un mundo donde me sentire orgullosa de estar, porque sufri, porque llore, porque rei. Entonces vi desde abajo lo que es estar arriba, pero estando arriba recordare lo que es estar abajo.

Frustrada..
Cansada, casi me rindo!

Amiga

Tu eres esa pieza que completa mi rompecabezas.
Si hay alguien con quien comparto mis alegrias y mis penas, eres tu.
No hay persona mas paciente, atenta y cariñosa.
Que me haga reir y conosca cada detalle de mi.

Eres como mi hermana, pero pesas mas que sangre.

Amiga, si hay alguien que mas amo en esta vida eres tu.
Cuando mis ideas locas recorren mi cabeza
la primera persona a la que llamo es a ti.

Gracias por ser tan parte de mi vida.
Por contar conmigo y creer en mi.

Tan solo gracias por ser mi amiga!

my hands are tight

My hands are tight
my lips are sealed.

Maybe I made a mistake
maybe I'll regret it later.

I know what I'm letting go.
I know it could have been great.
But what's done is done!

I tight my hands
put tape around my mouth
and throw myself in the deepest ocean.

I don't want to feel
I don't want to hurt no more.

I just want to pay the damage I've caused!

Is not that I didn't feel or still do
I know I'll miss you and forever.
But maybe I was just a mission and is already done!

I tight my hands, seal my lips and close my eyes.
I cant believe I let you go,
but what's done is done!

i could but i wont

I could make you love me how I want, but I won't.
Is unfair for both.
I want you to feel free to be your own person.

I could make you do so many things if I put my mind into it,
but I won't!
Is not healthy to think I own your mind.

I just want you, as you are, as you can be.
I know I can show you real love.

Love where you feel comfortable to be,
to come and go as you please.
Cuz we both are free to be different,
to enjoy life apart and yet be together as one.

I know we both had it hard. But that doesn't make us bad people.
It made us stronger and better.

I want to have you in my arms and make you mine.
But you will never be my property.
I want you to be you and be able to live the life you want.
But I want to be part of that more amazing person
I know you'll become.

I could do so many things, but I won't cuz is not up to me to decide.
Is destiny making our desires reality!

I Try to Hide

My soul its naked
my eyes are blindfolded
My heart its exposed
I have nowhere to go.

I'm here in front of you
ready for you to make me yours.

Words unspoken
in a candle night moment.

Behind close doors
under soft sheets.

I try to hide!

But your penetrating eyes..
they always get thru me.

So far, yet you know me so well!

Im covered in skin...
folding and unfolding new things!

Demencia

Todo un saco de sentimientos ambivalentes
Sueños inconclusos
Y deseos muertos en la orilla.

Subditamente me undo en la arena movedisa
Y no logro ver la salida.
La luz a lo largo del camino va extinguiendo poco a poco
Y en el transcurso pierdo el aire.

No logro encontrar una solucion en el mar de pensamientos, en el mundo de mi cabeza.

Quiero morir y olvidarme que una vez senti.

Parece que leo mi propia novela
Romantica, dramatica, comedia.

No quiero ser nadie.
Ahora mismo tan solo quiero vivir.

He probado el amor
y he quedado al borde de la demencia.

Entre la Noche y el Dia... "sueño"

La luna se puso ante el sol
El día y la noche son gemelas.
Perdí la noción del tiempo.
Mi alma es reflejo del cielo
Las estrellas entristecieron
Y fugaz se fueron lejos
Ya no brillan para mí.
Mi camino es desierto.
Totalmente a la deriva
Mi alma se va perdiendo.

Como cualquier otro día
Allí me tope con tu reflejo.
Resplandeciente como siempre para mí
Pero tan solo un espejismo

Te quise, te quiero y por siempre.


No hay nadie que me pueda hacer mas feliz
de lo que tu me hicistes a mi.

Living on a SuitCase

In this little island used to live a petite girl with a free spirit, full of life and dreams. When she was little she thought there was more about life than just work. As she grew up she started to see things different, life wasn't so pink anymore. In a moment in her life she had to make big decisions, maybe take ones she never thought of; since life push her to that point...

unspoken name

Main character of my dreams.
Illusion of mine...

You are the prohibited apple
and yet, I want a taste!

I wish I could get lost in your eyes
Sail through your hair
Explore the endless possibilities of your body
and your electrifying kisses.

You are the unspoken name.
My little secret...

The only one who knows my true feelings
and yet I wanna scream, but dont wanna play games.

If I only could have you as mine
kiss you endlessly and not just dream that I have you...

You are the popular cheerleader in school
And I'm just the girl next door.

Sweet unspoken name
unreachable love!

la almohada, cuatro paredes y yo

Escucho el sonido de la noche.
El silencio que hace mis cabeza girar.

No duermo,
Tan solo viajo en posibilidades.

Y entre tanta oscuridad
Brilla dentro de mi el vacio.

Me acompañan las ideas
En un sueño casi perfecto.

De aquella realidad
Donde todo quedo encajonado,
En tan solo una idea
De mil pensamiento.

amor traisionado

Mar de sentimientos perdidos
y recuerdos encontrados.

Alli estas tu!
Amor traisionado.

Noviembre

Que de buena tiene la vida si la persona que dices amar y con quien te acuestas todas las noches, no es mas que un cuerpo caminando por la vida. Te hace sentir como sombra, sin reflejo, sin espiritu y existiendo porque no queda de otra que existir. La vida es simplemente una historia escrita en papel donde las noches son un cuento de adas. Pero en realidad es un trastorno mental.

Odio las noches, el silencio y la frialdad.

I once thought I had my life all figured out.

Now I have no clue in what I want and were I'm going.

All I know is that I'm here living the moment. Trying to get what I want step by step while I figure out my deepest desires and dreams.

I know I can achieve whatever I put my mind into.

I'm an spontaneous, creative, lovable, sincere, crazy, respectful person and devoted to people I love. What you see is what you get, no hidden agendas.

When I love I give more than a hundred percent. I walk the extra mile, with no regrets what so ever. I always put my best out there no matter how many times I get hurt. Cause I think life is just one. Moments pass and never come back. So if I see something good in front of me I just grab the opportunity, you never know maybe that will be the beginning to the rest of my life.

One thing I know.

I know what I want out of love...
Someone that can love me as I am. With my ups and downs. With my flaws and virtues. Someone who wont get tired of me saying "I love you", but who is whiling to say it back from the heart. Who is not ashamed to grab my hand down the street or kiss me in the middle of the mall. Someone who will be faithful just because she loves me. I want someone crystal clear, with no hidden agendas. Someone who will do things with me even if its not something she is crazy about it, but will learn to like just cause it makes me happy. I want someone I can trust with my eyes closed, someone who will be there for me; not just a friend, but a lover and a partner. I'm intense, so I want someone who will be up for it. And definitely someone who can take time to know every aspect of my body, spirit and mind; who can be romantic in bed and daily basis. Last but not least, someone who can make me laugh and respect me as a person.

I don't want just "s-l-h". I want a deeper connection. I mean I go for anything, I'm easygoing, but still.

I might sound a little bit exigent, but I know everyone has that. People just don't take time to know themselves and to be patient around the person they say they love.

My birthday is coming up pretty soon and I just need to figure stuff out. I'm not a teenager anymore, but thank God I'm not that old either... I still got time!

Skipping every second of life

Tell me how is it possible...
to live life skipping the seconds?

There is no emotion on not knowing
what happens in front of you
every time you just had the perfect kiss
or while you have the greatest of sex

Or even more, just living the perfect moment
and not knowing that it even happened.

Life is not about hiding
is about confronting what comes on your way.

There is nothing better than remembering
the good and the bad of life.

Like the first kiss on a first date!

Life and skipping the moments of it
is like running from reality.