Saturday, September 29, 2012

23 Febrero 2010


En el pasado.
Lo que me atormenta y me hiso feliz.
Todo aquello que me hace SER hoy. Dicen: "es mejor pedir perdon que pedir permiso".

Y pienso...

La vida no se trata de lo que uno hace o deja de hacer.
No es de los demas y lo que piensen.
La vida es todo aquello que tu quieres para ti.
Lo que te hace o lo que te deshace.
En mucho hubiese preferido pedir permiso antes que perdon.
Pedirle permiso a mi corazon, mi alma, mi mente... la consiencia!
Antes de tener quizas daños permanentes o temporeros que toman una vida remendar.
Y por mas que paresca perfecta la reconstrucción,
siempre quedan algunos desniveles sin remedio.
Si la vida fuera una pelicula, le daria "rewind" a la mia,
entonces editaria unas cuantas partes para poder dormir tranquilamente.

No hay perfeccion entre tanta maldad. La vida me enseño que es asi.
Pero siempre queda un poco de esperanza y gente buena entre tanta locura.


Que si hubiese omitido muchas palabras, pensamientos, deseos, hoy no estaria aqui.

Entonces me hubiese ahorrado un dolor de cabeza.
Decisiones, todo en la vida son decisiones.

Pienso en todo y creo que debo coger un break de los pensanientos.

Monday, September 24, 2012

Drops of blood...

My heart is broken. The inside of my skin is ripped. The bones are fragile and my feet can't stand my body.

My heart is broken, my mind is lost, my soul is hurt.

Is time to face reality...

Drops of blood run down the fingers of my fist. I ripped my heart off my chest and feed it to the wolves.

Now I am like a cold hybrid vampire walking among the livings.

Unsure, blind, lost!
Heart, drops of blood!

Friday, September 07, 2012


Everyday I wake up asking myself the same thing.
Everyday I keep wondering when is that day going to come.

Am I going to die? Am I going to live?
I don't know what to do anymore!

I wake up everyday wishing things would change.
I wake up every morning just wishing I find the answers I've been looking for.

Today is not that day!

What am I supposed to do?
God, please answer because I don't have any strength left in me.

I feel like I'm dying instead of living again. I know am in pain!

What now? What to do next?

Thursday, September 06, 2012

Let's get personal

How often can we be free and say all those things that we think but never say out loud?
Let's get personal, let's break those boundaries of unspoken words, let's say forget about what others might think and let's get real. At the end of the day everybody leaves therefore the only opinion that should matter when talking about yourself is your own.

Let's get personal, say it out loud.

The other day I went out with a friend, which apparently I had a crush with and I don't remember the details on what happen 17 years ago. How bad is that? for the first time in my life I feel like my memory has fallen into loopholes. Seems like I dated more guys than what I thought, what an irony. If you know me you would understand what I mean.

Although those who know me from before know the little girl with an intact innocence, who ever knows me now knows the woman with lots of stories to tell.

It is amazing how a place, people, experiences can change a person. Then again there are different times in life where you have to evolve creating your own destiny...
A few years ago I went on a quest of what I thought it was living life, thinking everyday after, that i had found it realizing, I really haven't. Eight years of my life thinking that I had folded some issues I thought where resolved. Apparently I've been wrong because I still wonder.

Yet life continues to slap me every morning in the face. Life happens for all of those alive. You are born, live rent free, worries free; then you grow up, have to prepare for life; you get old, get a job, pay your bills (better have savings), wishing you were rich and if rich wishing it never goes away.

Me today? I feel so lost, like a little girl in the woods.

My religious believes and everything that has made me the person I am today, all of it is fighting everyday with each other. Is like there are two people inside me.

Therefore I know that's why I am still on a quest of figuring out the unanswered questions about here and now, and the uncertain world parallel to this one.

This is my quest: To find the truth!

The truth about the things that matter, about what love really is and about what happens when you are alive, die or still here for the end of these times. My quest is about sacrifice and about giving, is about all those things we all have lost and don't care to find.

Monday, September 03, 2012

Public Call

Gamers & you-tubers out there. Today @ 6pm shooting action scene with unloaded bb guns. Free pizza. If you live in Orlando, interested in being in this video reply for details!