Secrets

To be clear as the water can be a very dangerous task. Sometimes to keep somethings to yourself could be the smart thing to do.

To be or not to be?
To keep or not to keep?
To do or not to do?

So many questions!

Secrets were meant to keep as secrets!
If you don't want anyone to know keep them to yourself!

Family First

Like I've said many times before, "life is short". I know we all have some complaints about the family we could not choose for ourselves, but at the end blood is heavier than water.

Family comes first. Something that my parents have thought me. Over and over again they have shown me who they are even when they don't say it out loud. I can see in my mom almost an angel, a compassionate, loving, caring, strong, hard worker, dedicated, organized woman. Is amazing how she is able to fit a week schedule in a day. My dad, a great provider, workaholic, self-starter, business man. Thru him I learned that the only way to survive in this world and be able to enjoy something good is by working. With them together I learned to love, to support each other, that a relationship is a teamwork effort and takes time to find perfection. But regardless of the day to day there's always time to spend together and talk; there's always time for respect and show love.

I am blessed to have parents that fought for the love they have and didn't allow the surroundings to affect it. I am blessed to have the love of my parents!

Family first, always!

Lucky

To taste the flavor of such softness
And explore every corner.
To feel the warmth,
Explosion of feelings;
Sweet words.

Lucky, to find each other
In such broken world.

To find love
To have yours
For you to have mines.

Making our surrounding nauseous
they are just jealous they didn't find it first.

You are my lucky charm!

Embrace

Every minute, of every hour, of everyday!

Today we are here, tomorrow who knows what might happen.

To love for me is a privilege!

I learned that life is fragile, that we should appreciate the moments that life gives us. We are lucky to be alive, to laugh and cry, make mistakes, and learn from them.

To be here should be enough to be grateful, because once your eyes open, at that very moment God gives the opportunity to put life in motion towards the things we want and deserve.

So embrace today, tomorrow it might be too late!

I say I love you...

All our lives enjoying the innocence under the wings of our sheltered parents. To now realize those times passed a long time ago. Today being different should have been a ride to the park, but it's still a tabu. I live like I never said anything to them, like if my words are empty and they never took me serious. Almost like if I don't exist but they live with the illusion of me, a parallel daughter which is perfect just like they dreamt.

The harder they try to change me, the further they push me away. Is not a matter of a flu, is a matter of being born this way. I don't care anymore of hiding, I have no need for it.

These are not reasons for me to love you, these just a few reasons why I want to stay. Is not a matter of running away from my problems, but a matter of being tired of trying to proof myself. I thought many things were fixed between me and my parents but then again is like all I did was make it worst.

With you next to me I have it all, emotionally I am happy. With you I feel I have a family where I can be myself again. Next to you I feel I can do anything because you inspire me to do whatever it takes to make it thru. I want to give you everything. I want to make you happy. I know I am not perfect, but I know that everyday is an opportunity to be better.

I say I love you because next to you I want to stay forever.

I say I love you because even when I am still getting to know you, there will be times were I probably want to go running and instead of you shutting down, that's when I need you to come running after me, the same way I would for you.

We are in this together and even thou I have my house, home is with you. I promise from this point on everything will be for the better and I will not do anything that puts our relationship on a position where you have to wonder why. You are my friend and lover and because of it I consider you in everything I do.

I say I love you because I want to give you everything that I am, what I have yet to discover and the future we are building together.

December 2013 - Happy New *@#%^+ Year

New York is a rude place.

Always on a hurry, me first and me second.
Party is the number one thing for everyone, specially during the holidays.

Holidays? Not the type I am used to.
But I sure had fun with the family; roof party.

Fun times for sure!

In the other hand, people made me feel so out of place.
Is amazing how a person so unimportant can affect your emotions in an instant.
How those strangers can make you feel worst than actually someone that you might love.

If walking away was the easiest way I would choose that in a heartbeat.
But reality, not here to walk out.
I'm here to stay!

Even if I hate so much a situation, a person or a place.
I'm here to stay because I love
And love conquers all!

I don't like the idea of having to tolerate someone just because I love,
But if that's what it takes, so be it.
I don't have to like them!

Everyday (sometime in October)

Missing you, is just an illusion.
Before I wished to have you in my arms once more.

I have moved on!

I miss you and everything that we have gone thru made me stronger for this moment. And that's my reality!

Forever sounds like a long time and I once believed in it.
Then again the things that start somewhere, somewhere else ends.

Everyday I thank the universe for putting you in my path because with you I had a lesson needed to be learned. I just hope one day I understand.

Everyday is a new day from this point on!

Inspired

When in the mornings you realize you made it thru another day alive.
You wake up being thankful, being loved, having good friends and to know you have an exceptional family, you realize then you are inspired to live everyday to the max.

I want to go forward and be able to reach the dreams. Because when you have what you need, then you don't need anything else. Is not about going to the sides, to the past, is about going higher than the skies!

Living now is living forever, living now is building the future!

I am inspired to live my dreams,
I am inspired to be a better human being.

You are my inspiration!

Momentos como estos...

Solo una vez.

Llevare grabado en mi pecho los buenos asi.
Las desveladas y los dias sin horas.

Momentos como estos...
Solo una vez.

Agradesco todo lo que has hecho.
Agradesco el abrir tu corazon,
A uno quebrantado con ansias de vivir, para encontrar uno similar.

Recordare momentos como estos por siempre, porque solo se dan una vez.

Extrañare tu compañia,
Pero sabes que siempre estare
"One phone call away".

Te quiero prima!

True colors

I don't have to hide, I don't have to lie. I can show the world my true colors.

God loves me as I am and the outcome is enough for me to be happy. To enjoy the beauty of nature, to laugh, to cry and to just be.

I will show the true colors of my heart!

Sometimes is not about others...

Sometimes expecting too much takes you to disappointment. I guess nothing is perfect and I should be grateful of the things I had, the things I let go and the things I still have.

I forget I shouldn't expect from anyone. The day I realize that, I will stop getting disappointed.

Don't make others a priority if others see you as an option.

Self respect is never enough when it comes down to you!

Expect of yourself enough to never get disappointed because no one knows you better than yourself!

Ahora en este momento

Momentos para compartir,
Momentos como este para recordar.
Un momento pasa y nunca regresa.
Vivir ahora, aqui, en este instante es aventurar las posibilidades de la vida.

Ahora en este instante explorar la belleza, la felicidad, la inosencia.
Los colores y la infinidad.

Life has to be beautiful...

Because we are still here.
Everyday is an opportunity to experience new adventures,
And living alone is one!

Life has to be beautiful
Because we live and we learn.
Growing old is not about the mistakes
Is about how you make smart decisions while the path unfolds as you walk.

Life is beautiful!
Because when you find happiness inside you, then you are ready to give it to others and therefore you love!

Loving yourself is the best gift of life
That's when you feel most alive
And that's when the adventures begin to make sense!

If you love yourself you love others!

Random thoughts

To expect the unexpected. To feel lost and find yourself again. To not know what to do. To feel sad, alone and yet so loved and surrounded by good people.

Because happiness is not found in others but within yourself. Because I love myself, I can love others and if love others I have found myself!

Life is unpredictable, sometimes making uncertain decisions. But with a compass anyone can find the way!

23 Febrero 2010

Pienso...

En el pasado.
Lo que me atormenta y me hiso feliz.
Todo aquello que me hace SER hoy. Dicen: "es mejor pedir perdon que pedir permiso".

Y pienso...

La vida no se trata de lo que uno hace o deja de hacer.
No es de los demas y lo que piensen.
La vida es todo aquello que tu quieres para ti.
Lo que te hace o lo que te deshace.
En mucho hubiese preferido pedir permiso antes que perdon.
Pedirle permiso a mi corazon, mi alma, mi mente... la consiencia!
Antes de tener quizas daños permanentes o temporeros que toman una vida remendar.
Y por mas que paresca perfecta la reconstrucción,
siempre quedan algunos desniveles sin remedio.
Si la vida fuera una pelicula, le daria "rewind" a la mia,
entonces editaria unas cuantas partes para poder dormir tranquilamente.

No hay perfeccion entre tanta maldad. La vida me enseño que es asi.
Pero siempre queda un poco de esperanza y gente buena entre tanta locura.

Pienso...

Que si hubiese omitido muchas palabras, pensamientos, deseos, hoy no estaria aqui.

Entonces me hubiese ahorrado un dolor de cabeza.
Decisiones, todo en la vida son decisiones.

Pienso en todo y creo que debo coger un break de los pensanientos.

Drops of blood...

My heart is broken. The inside of my skin is ripped. The bones are fragile and my feet can't stand my body.

My heart is broken, my mind is lost, my soul is hurt.

Is time to face reality...

Drops of blood run down the fingers of my fist. I ripped my heart off my chest and feed it to the wolves.

Now I am like a cold hybrid vampire walking among the livings.

Unsure, blind, lost!
Heart, drops of blood!

What?

Everyday I wake up asking myself the same thing.
Everyday I keep wondering when is that day going to come.

Am I going to die? Am I going to live?
I don't know what to do anymore!

I wake up everyday wishing things would change.
I wake up every morning just wishing I find the answers I've been looking for.

Today is not that day!

What am I supposed to do?
God, please answer because I don't have any strength left in me.

I feel like I'm dying instead of living again. I know am in pain!

What now? What to do next?

Let's get personal

How often can we be free and say all those things that we think but never say out loud?
Let's get personal, let's break those boundaries of unspoken words, let's say forget about what others might think and let's get real. At the end of the day everybody leaves therefore the only opinion that should matter when talking about yourself is your own.

Let's get personal, say it out loud.

The other day I went out with a friend, which apparently I had a crush with and I don't remember the details on what happen 17 years ago. How bad is that? for the first time in my life I feel like my memory has fallen into loopholes. Seems like I dated more guys than what I thought, what an irony. If you know me you would understand what I mean.

Although those who know me from before know the little girl with an intact innocence, who ever knows me now knows the woman with lots of stories to tell.

It is amazing how a place, people, experiences can change a person. Then again there are different times in life where you have to evolve creating your own destiny...
A few years ago I went on a quest of what I thought it was living life, thinking everyday after, that i had found it realizing, I really haven't. Eight years of my life thinking that I had folded some issues I thought where resolved. Apparently I've been wrong because I still wonder.

Yet life continues to slap me every morning in the face. Life happens for all of those alive. You are born, live rent free, worries free; then you grow up, have to prepare for life; you get old, get a job, pay your bills (better have savings), wishing you were rich and if rich wishing it never goes away.

Me today? I feel so lost, like a little girl in the woods.

My religious believes and everything that has made me the person I am today, all of it is fighting everyday with each other. Is like there are two people inside me.

Therefore I know that's why I am still on a quest of figuring out the unanswered questions about here and now, and the uncertain world parallel to this one.

This is my quest: To find the truth!

The truth about the things that matter, about what love really is and about what happens when you are alive, die or still here for the end of these times. My quest is about sacrifice and about giving, is about all those things we all have lost and don't care to find.

Public Call

Gamers & you-tubers out there. Today @ 6pm shooting action scene with unloaded bb guns. Free pizza. If you live in Orlando, interested in being in this video reply for details!

Time to be real...

Do you have a job?

Has your boss ever lower the salary because they didn't have enough to pay you?

Then why would you want me to lower my prices of my services for you?

I have a job, if you can't afford to pay, don't waist your time looking for me!

I also have bills
...just like you!

Note: why people don't like to pay for something they think they can do themselves? to realize just because you have the same tools I use for work don't mean you know how to use them. Please, have in mind the skills come with the person and experience not with the equipment.